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Lubov Suka (Chapter 23)



Author: Dvizheniya
Genre: Romantic, Comedy, Drama

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Chapter 23

For the first time this year the tennis club where her daughter was a member for many years could start the training outside on the large grounds again. Under sunshine Julia sat with Samir Julia open air on the public platform and observed with how Victoria beaten hopeless her playing partner with great enthusiasm. The mother was proud of her daughter and had to admit that Victoria was far better than she has ever been in her childhood. On this warm spring day the singer could relax for the first time with her ​​little family. The children gave her the necessary rest between the busy with appointments filled days.

 Due to the tiring time Julia was also health weakened briefly and therefore had to cancel inevitably her upcoming concerts for Ukraine. Despite the persistent head and body aches which made her body completely tired Julia decided nevertheless not to cancel the invitation for Alexei Mitrofanov's birthday party. On a small stage in the posh restaurant 'Golden Palace' she greeted him in company with her friend Mona and singer Iosif Kobzon. Together they congratulate him and welcomed the numerous guests with beautiful old Russian folk songs. Although her ​​visit was very short the young woman enjoyed the celebration. Since she hadn't seen many famous guests for several months the evening ended with quiet insightful conversations.

The next day she spent several hours with Elena Kiper in the music studio to record the new song 'Davai Zakrutim Zemlyu'. In addition to her already recorded demos Julia finally wanted to release an international single. She was thrilled from the present result and could hardly wait to continue working for the last perfection of the song and making it ready for the worldwide release. The singer told that all of her recordings relating to the project with Dima were also completed now. Since Kiper hadn't heard the result of 'Lubov Suka' yet Julia presented the song with great pride. The composer, who had once written the song was glad about the final product.
 Also Elena had good news about their common friend Ivan. She shared happily that the treatments in the hospital were showing already a great progress.

 After the day in the music studio the singer didn't want to miss a visit for her former manager at he nearby hospital. Julia was pleased about the fact that he finally decided for some professional medical help. With a wheelchair she drove Ivan through the park near the hospital to give him a little more courage. He was still weakened by the disease and the chemotherapy which were required for this purpose.
During the walk Julia got often the feeling that Ivan was mentally absent. Wordlessly he was staring in the treetops, watching the flying birds in the blue sky and looked thoughtfully at the countless colorful flowers which were along the way. But his senses were focused on Julia's voice.
First she assumed that he's not really listening to her. As soon as the singer paused her sentence Ivan immediately looked at her and asked with a soft voice and his waving weak and shaky hand to continue. He obviously couldn't get enough of the stories about the development of the children. Preferably he showed more interest in Victoria. The man had to smile again and again about the many stories. Ivan expressed his wish to be back and surrounded among healthy people.
He wanted no longer remain in the sterile hospital which gave him every day some depressed mood.
However he was ashamed of the loss of his hair.

That's why Julia drove secretley into Moscow city to buy a blue yellow colored beanie for him. A day later the brunette surprised her former manager with it.
This little attention moved him so much that he had even some tears of joy in his eyes. It seemed as if this present mobilized new strength in him. Julia also encouraged new courage of life by visiting a small café. Even though it was outside the area but equal bordered at the hospital. There she donated some vanilla ice cream with a little portion of extra cream, fresh strawberries and a shot of chocolate syrup.

Due to the positive events of the day and the further improvement of Ivan's health Julia had invited Kiper night to her home. Elena was excited and spoke out her gratitude and respect from that Julia had taken precious time for Ivan although the singer had hardly even a quiet minute for a private life. Until late into the night the two women chatted about the past, t.A.T.u. and also about the future.
Kiper spread of creativity again and made ​​suggestions for Julia's solo career to be able to support her actively. Their increased euphoria became so big that they wanted to continue with the videoclip for the international single. Since the text in the new single had an extraordinary sex appeal, Julia aspired the content of the song should reflect a bit in the clip.
However the video shouldn't be only erotic or offensive. She also would love to bring some humor in it. The women had many ideas and after two hours they had combined the appropriate scripts. Elena promised to work up the missing details at home and send the result by email. Julia was already completely smitten with the compiled result of the evening. More and more she felt the final complete freedom of her solo project. It was an unusual feeling to make own desicions but at the same time this new privilege was brilliant.

After midnight Elena had to go back home again. She was thanksful and glad for the spontaneous invitation and the delicious red wine with the tasty snacks which Julia had specially prepared for the pleasant evening.

By virtue of the new countlessplans Julia couldn't sleep. Mainly the thought tortured her which talented young woman was suitable for her new video clip. Her friend Mona was about to make a own comeback in the music business. The contact with Lauren was no longer intact. Especially since the former colleague of her first video clip 'All because of you' had already announced that she wants to leave the film business.
Since most of her business contacts were musician or designer it was hard for Julia to find a suitable person. She thought about some people but anyone hardly in her circle of acquaintances had the talent to participate for a slightly offensive video.
The young woman had almost given up all of her hope until she remembered Sascha Tityanko. After the split up with her ex boyfriend Parviz they had spend some weeks together in Los Angeles together. Sasha is incredibly open and positive-minded and possibly the solution of the problem with help of Sascha's major impact of friends. Many nights they had celebrated together. Until the early morning the alcohol flowed and the atmosphere was simply amazing. The good mood didn't even sank for one minute. While Julia remembered the time with a smile she took her iPhone and wrote Tityanko a text message; in hope that her friend can help.

Despite the short night the next morning Julia was delighted about the answer of her perennial friend. In the message she mentioned Sascha a female guest named Alexandra; who was also attended by the former two days beach party in Santa Monica. Julia remembered her immediately.
Alexandra was also from Russia. At this time, she had just arrived in America. After some weeks she had decided to stay in the states to improve her chances of a good drama school. The young woman was in Julia's memories because the initially shyest person in the group developed very quickly after a few cocktails into a real party animal. She couldn't stop dancing to the music and  was a very personable, affectionate and also very talented in amusing people. In another message Sascha announced that Alexandra was even right now in Moscow.
Below she left the number for Julia to contact her. The singer could hardly put her gratitude into words.

As soon as she had prepaered the breakfast table in the kitchen Julia heard the opening of the door. It took less than five seconds when she heard the loud rumble of the children as they ran straight through the apartment to greet their mother. With open arms Julia welcomed her kids. Even Viva scratched full of excitement gently with the front paws on her leg to get petted.

"Hello Marina," Julia smiled and took the nanny also in the arms.

When the old lady saw the prepared kitchen table she was astonishment.

"Julchik, you've already prepared breakfast!" 

The young mother narrowed her eyes and nodded happily. Julia was sorry for that Marina unfortunately couldn't stay longer because the nanny had to perceive a doctor's appointment.

"It's ok. I'm at home today and soon Dima will join us." 

When Samir heard the name of the singer he asked surprised "Dima??," 

With shining eyes the little boy held the cereal box in his hand while tilting the cornflakes in his bowl. Julia nodded and bit her lip because initially this should be a surprise for her children.

"Ohh coooool!" said Samir and didn't even notice that he poured way much too much cereal in the bowl.

When he saw the skeptical and at the same time horrified gaze by his big sister, Samir paused briefly.

"You are really disgusting!" Vika said and she wrinkled her nose as her brother put the excess cornflakes back in the pack with bare hands.

After Marina said goodbye to the small family Julia sat down at the table. She wanted to pour some milk on her own cereals but noticed quickly that the package was actually empty.
Subsequently blame glances came of her children who had generously dunked their cornflakes in milk. Just when Julia wanted to stand up to get a new pack from the fridge, she was informed by her daughter that no more milk was left.  Silent filled the room until her son pulled his mom's bowl closer and filled with dedication some of his milk in Julia's cereals. With a proud smile he pushed the bowl back to its place. Even though her cornflakes were now soaked in sugary white liquid; which wasn't common for her breakfast Julia was touched by the loving attention of her son and finally drove her fingers over his cheek.

"Thank you,darling," she said, still touched by the kindness.

Her heart beaten faster by the imagination what a caring husband and father her son probably will become.
After breakfast they cleaned the breakfast table together. The children disappeared hastily in the living room as their mother allowed them to play with the Playstation while she took a hot bath. The young mother hurried in there since it was very risky to leave them alone with the Playstation, because the smallest disagreement could lead to a dispute.
Only wrapped with a bath towel around her body she toddled barefoot through the apartment to check for the children. Unsuspecting she entered the living room and turned almost pale as Dima sat also in front of the TV and was playing along with her kids.

"I let him in!" Vika smirked and was visibly happy about the new third player.

Dima forgot the exciting role-playing game when he saw the in a towel wrapped young woman. While the kids were engrossed in the game, he looked completely absent on the fine drops which repeatedly fallen from the dark hair tips down on the delicate warm shoulder, such as melting ice in the sun.

"Hi!" Julia welcomed her guest with a smile and was even unusual restraint.

"Hey ..." Dima said.

One last time his eyes wandered over her body when a teasing grin followed.

"I'll be right back. I'm gonna undress quickly," said the young woman, pointing with the index finger to the bedroom.

He nodded and turned back to the game console.
Since in Moscow the spring gradually approached Julia slipped into a sky-blue Adidas shirt with matching sports pants. In the past few weeks the singer often wore tight clothing.Today she opted for some casual sporty clothes and black Nike Air Max. The brunette took her purse from the handbag which stood at the door in the hallway and went back into the living room. Meanwhile Julia checked whether she still had enough cash for the supermarket and attached the leash on Viva's necklace.

"I'm gonna go in the supermarket. We have no more milk. Will you take care of my two angels?" Julia asked with an angelic face. Dima and the children looked at each other and they nodded in unison.

Julia smiled satisfied about this and thanked him warmly. Before she left the house the young woman gave a kiss on her kids's forehead. When she was about to leaven Dima pouted. He was begging with sad glance and  a clear gesture of his face also for a farewell kiss. Not only Julia, also Viktoria and Samir were laughing about his unique facial expressions. With flushed cheeks she bent down and kissed also his forehead.

"I'll be right back ..." whispered the brunette and ran his hand through Dimas silky hair.

The adults smiled to each other with obvious body language before the mother of two children finally left the apartment. With hasty steps she hurried down the stairs. When she opened the door, Julia immediately perceived a warm spring breeze and took a deep breath of blooming flowers which were applied on small green areas next to the sidewalk of the road; thus gave a friendly atmosphere. Through the nearby park the woman enlarged the way to the supermarket, so Viva was able to run a few a bit on the large meadow.

At the entrance she fixed her dog  and hurried through the corridors of the small market and was looking for the little things, which they urgently needed at home. In addition to milk, dog biscuits and cereals the singer couldn't resist a big box of chocolate. After the payment Julia took the grocery bag and went back home with Viva.

When she closed the door the young woman paused for a moment. There was an unusual silence in the apartment. In the kitchen was clearly to hear her daughter who hummed merrily a song by Lady Gaga with the meager knowledge of English. Before she followed the sound of her daughter she unleashed Viva.
Julia stood in the doorway. Her glance flew swiftly through the dirty kitchen. Flour was visibly in every corner. From the floor up over the whole working surface. Even the clothing of her daughter was formally decorated with dough and flour. In the shocked expression of her mother Victoria said proudly that she just prepared pizza. When Julia saw the lumpy dough, she didn't want to imagine how hard the dough will be if this was once a while in the oven.
However in order not to take the courage to cook from her daughter  Julia put an optimistic smile on although she was surprised by the idea because The little girl had previously no interest in cooking.
Victoria pressed several yeast balls on the black plate until the dough was completely covered in different thickness. Although the mother was totally fascinated by it she was curious and wanted to know where this sudden change came from.
In her cheerfulness the blonde girl explained that Dima had prepared the dough with her ​​and now she is about to finish a delicate pizza for everyone.
Julia furrowed her brow when she heard the name of the singer and asked immediately for Samir. The brunette had a sense of foreboding when she found her daughter in an already in flour fogged kitchen.
She didn't want to imagine what Dima had done with the little boy in the short time. Victoria pointed her in sticky dough wrapped index finger to the bathroom.
The nearer she approached to the bathroom the more the mother could clearly hear her son's voice. One last time Julia took a deep breath before she opened the door. What the woman has found there confirmed her concern. But the most absurd imaginations weren't to be equated approximately to the reality.
The two men stood with naked torsos in front of the mirror. Samir on his plastic chair so he could also look in the mirror. His hair were entirely styled with a high doses of wax.
In addition, not only Dima or the floor, even the arms and face of the little boy was stucking excess shaving cream.

"Mama! Dima just showed me how to shave!" said Samir proud and put the razor on his soft face to demonstrate his new lesson.
When the young mother saw a razor in his by shaving cream covered small hands she cried out loud.

"Oh my God baby!! You're going to cut and hurt yourself!!" 

She took a huge step toward her son and tore formally the shaver out of his hands. Samir and Dima looked dumbfounded at each other. When Julia noticed the cap on the sharp blade she took a deep breath of relief.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of him!" Dima snorted loudly and also Samir chuckled at the mad view by his mother.

Julia returned reluctantly the shaver back to her giggling son. With enthusiasm Samir put  the razor quickly back against his face to streak the white foam, like a grown man, of his skin. Pride was written in his eyes as he looked up to Dima with a big smile.
Even though the shock was still in the bones Julia didn't want to disturb the men. Since a man was currently missing by her side it was even more important for her son that he has the opportunity to try things out which were specific to men.
The mother went back into the kitchen. In the meantime the pizza was already in the oven. With plenty of soap and water Viktoria tried to scrape off the dough from each corner of the kitchen.
When Julia wanted to help the blonde girl waved hectic with her hands.

"I will do it!" said Victoria determinative and was eager to get the kitchen clean again.

However Julia was surprised by the sudden independence of her offspring.
The brunette put the milk in the fridge and the remaining purchases which were still in the large bag. When a loud crackle of packaging sounded Viva equaled curiously in the kitchen.The small tail was wagging and the excited dog and followed every movement of her mistress. Julia couldn't resist the glance of her four-legged friend. She opened the package and gave Viva two dog biscuits.

"Enjoy it!" Julia said and stroked the little dog's head and padded blessed before Viva returned on her blanket.

Julia took a glass of water, sat down at the table and observed how the eager little girl whirled around in the kitchen. A bit later the boys entered also the kitchen and sat at the table. Due to the remarkably strong smell of aftershave the women wrinkled their noses up at the same time.

"That's disgusting!" Viktoria bleated out loud and rubbed the towel with full force over the kitchen desk.

Her little brother was proud of the masculine fragrance. Julia laughed as he gently slapped with both hands on his red cheeks. When she leaned forward to wander with her hand through the hair of her son she stucked in the sticky wax. With a soft sigh, Julia leaned back again and looked incredulously at Dima who shrugged innocently and explained everything.

"It was his idea to have so much wax in his hair. This time it's not my fault," he said with a wide smile.

Julia remained silent and her eyebrow lifted skeptical. The young man cleared his throat and stood up.

"Well, I'm gonna look for the pizza!" 

Victoria followed him immediately to take a look at her first homemade pizza. After a brief review of the food they looked sheepishly at each other.

"I think it's done ..." muttered the blonde girl and looked once again at the flat golden brown dough.

Although Dima had already a premonition about how the pizza would taste,he didn't want to discourage the little girl. Thus he served the food with his usual humor. The dough was so hard, the cutting proved as difficult. When everyone had a slice of pizza on his plate they looked at each other.  Dima was the first one who bit hearty in his piece. With the loud crunch it sounded more that he had just bitten into a cookie.
Julia took a deep breath and forced herself also to taste the hard pizza. Meanwhile Samir was scratching the Salami off the dough.

"You can tell me if it doesn't taste good..." Victoria said when she observed the faces of the adults.

"Yeah, well then we just go and eat somewhere else!" Samir added cheeky and pushed provocative the plate in the middle of the table.

Julia and Dima looked at each other questioningly. There was silent for one moment. As if Victoria's statement was a relief for everyone; Dima uttered aloud a breath and put the pizza back on the plate.

"Exactly, that's what we will do! Don't be sad, Vika. Your mother can't also cook..."  

By this the children had to laugh. Julia's eyes widened and her mouth dropped horrifed open. The next moment she kicked frustrated against Dima's knee.

"No offense ..." he cackled and winking with one eye playfully to the young woman.

The children jumped up and ran excited into the hallway to put the shoes on.
Samir called Dima and expressed the wish that he should tie his shoes. Not only Dima, also Julia was touched by the warmth of the little boy. Within a short time he idolized the singer and was looking formally every second of his proximity. Samir was clearly fascinated by Dimas funny-loving nature and youthful cheekiness.

After Julia had cleaned the table she entered the corridor and a wide grin spread across her face when Samir completely was sitting completely happy on shoulders Dimas.
Viktoria still plundered in the shoe cabinet and couldn't decide between the blue and red sneakers. In a flash she turned around and asked if she could go with her ​​inline skates. Apparently her daughter had inherited the sudden mental leaps from her mother. Julia nodded and wondered whether she shouldn't drive also with her skates. The two boys observed the women how amazed they set free their skates which were covered in the cabinet between countless of other shoes.

When they had put on their skates, each of the embraced an arm of the young man.

"Luckily I have two arms!" joked Dima when he was surprised about to have both women at his sides.

Daughter and mother looked up to him with a big smile.
This special moment was indescribable for him. For the first time in his life he was in the middle of a family. A family in which he didn't belong but the openness and the endless love gave him the feeling to be a part it.
Once he looked into Julia's shiny eyes Dima knew that he was more than just a workmate or an simply affair. The kids loved his presence and avoid no body contact.
Although he didn't plan to have a own family the young man had often wondered about how it would be to be a father. Viktoria and Samir formally mobilized his imagination of ​​his own family.

When Julia closed the door she hooked up immediately in Dimas arm again. On the way to the elevator the both women were drawn with help of his arms.
Victoria pressed the button and after a few seconds the door of the elevevator opened. As soon as they were in there was pure silence after the loud clatter of the skates echoed through the whole house. Everyone was looking at each other. Finally the brief moment of the unaccustomed silence was broken with a loud laughter.
Especially as Dima emulated the loud crack of the skates with some hilarious sounds. The amused young family was to hear to the last floor of the house.

Julia took Viktoria's hand when they arrived downstairs. Mother and daughter drove out of the house together  while the two men took their time.
On the way to the park Samir tried to reach for the leaves of the low-hanging branches of the trees. Dima helped him whereupon he stood on his tiptoe and thereby made ​​hisself as large as possible. When the little boy had collected a few leaves and the singer wanted to know if he knows a nearly local where they could buy something to eat. Samir nodded proudly.

"Yes! Kroshka Kartoshka!" He answered convincingly and Dima had to laugh about the name of the local.

Since Julia drove off with her daughter on skates he called her name with full force. As the brunette turned around Dima gave a hand signal and said in a loud volume that they be right back. Julia replied with upright thumb and devoted immediately into the race with the seven years old girl.
The small fast -food restaurant was five minutes away from the park. Dima stopped in front of the counter and read  the large variety of food on a display panel.

"What do you want to eat?" he asked.

The boy thought for a moment and decided for a sandwich with ham and cheese. Dima grinned and agreed.

"I'll take that too. And a chicken breast sandwich for your mum?" 

Samir nodded eagerly. "Yes!" 

"And what we'll take for your sister?" He asked.

Samir was thinking again and pointed with his index finger on the desk. Since the five years old child couldn't read and his reference of his finger was very indistinct, Dima read the selection of menus until Samir interupted him with a loud 'Stop' when he came across the small beef roll. The waitress put the ordered food in a two paper bags and handed a 0.5 liter Cola for free.
After the payment Samir grabbed one arm around Dima's neck to get better balance. With his second hand he grabbed for a paperbag. The young man gave him the ham cheese sandwiches while he took the other menus.
The singer wanted to know whether he had enough grip on his shoulder since he little boy had only one hand free to hold on his shoulder. He was worried that he might slip from his shoulder. Right after Samir leaned his upper body gently against Dima's head. The little hand firmly clung along the chest while the other arm which including the menus hung loosely over the shoulder

"Is that comfortable enough? Or do you prefer to walk?" 

Samir shook his head and whispered a satisifed 'No' in Dimas ear.

While they strolled through the streets the boys discovered a meadow right at the edge of the park  where the first Crocus flowers bloomed. Samir loved the colors. The flowers adorned the green square with its colorful diversity.
Dima didn't want to withheld the boy not to pick a few of the beautiful flowers. As soon as he had deposed him, Samir went promptly to the largest flower he had spotted. The singer was thrilled with the compilation of the small handsome bouquets which the boy compiled. It was a perfect mixing and from orange, white and lavender-colored flowers. Proudly Samir presented its attainment and handed Dima his homemade bouquet.

"You can give it to Mum!" grinned the boy and cheekily wrinkled his nose.
Dima was completely speechless by this sudden attention but wanted to reject the offer.

"You picked up the flowers so you may give it to your mother!" 

Samir shook his head and held out demanding the bouquet. The young man was touched. He gratefully accepted the flowers whereupon he ran shortly two fingers along the delicate face of the child. Then he knelt down again, so that Samir could climb on his shoulder again.
While they went full packed back in the park Dima was thinking about the unexpected warmth. Possibly it was a very emotional meaning for Samir.
It was an honest favor of a little boy and also possibly the inner desire for an intact family life. For one moment Dima remembered the two separations of his biological father Parviz and also with Vladim. The imagination of what the boy had gone through in his previous life, was heartbreaking for Dima. According to the circumstances, it was feasible that Samir saw a new father in him. The more difficult it should be the to tell gently the truth to the child before his hope will grow even more.


Julia and Victoria still drove eagerly with their skates in the park until they discovered the guys. One last time they wanted to try another race and started to drive in high speed. When Julia stopped in front of them Dima praised not only her condition but also the victory. The young woman smiled proudly. A few seconds also Victoria arrived later added and was intercepted by her mother with a loud giggle.

Dima knelt down to let Samir slip from his shoulder. He handed the menus to Victoria and Julia got the unexpected gift. First she looked amazed at the colorful freshly picked flowers but an sceptical glance followed. Samir's sparkling eyes betrayed almost the secret behind the natural bouquet. Julia secretly suspected that her son was involved in this idea. If he wanted to make a gift to someone the sprakling joy in his eyes was showing more than a thousand words. With a wide grin Julia finally thanked Dima and winked one eye while her hand ran gently over Samir's head.

On a park bench they took a break and ate the delicious sandwiches. The family fed the pigeons that had gathered more and more at their feet with the remaining bread crumbs
Meanwhile Dima continued with his typical humor. He was covering in hilarious sounds the spring song of the birds which gathered in the trees.

However suddenly an emerging rain forced them to interrupt the wonderful afternoon in the park and the family ran as fast as possible back home. Since Samir wasn't fast enough Dima took him hastily on his arms. The first meaningless rain drops rapidly developed into a rapid downpour.

But no one was upset about the abrupt changing of the weather. When they stormed through the door another loud laughter was audible throughout the house again. With soaking wet clothes they entered the apartment. Julia and her daughter put off the skates quickly.  In the meantime Samir, who was barely wet of the rain brought some towels. While everyone was drying the hairs they still needed to giggle about the little adventure.
Unfortunately Dima realized that he had to drive back home to change his clothes. Julia pouted sadly and took a deep breath before she finally got up from the floor and put the skates to the side.
As Victoria had heard that she wanted to know whether he will come back afterwards. Dima shook his head. At the same time he promised that he'll visit them soon again. The girl nodded pleased.

"Go in your room and change your clothes before you will get sick...and help your brother! Samir should also undress!" ordered the mother in slightly worried tone.

"Yes," Victoria replied with a vigorous nod and said goodbye with a waving hand to the singer.

"Bye Dima See you soon!" 

The young man smiled and winked with both eyes at the little ones. His highly pleased expression changed rapidly as soon Victoria disappeared in her room.

"Jul?" he said suddenly in an unusual tone.

As the curious blue eyes stared at him he swallowed thoughtfully, searching for the right words.

"What's wrong?" asked Julia and narrowed her eyes when she felt that Dima wanted to tell something important.

One last time he took breath before Dima told who picked up the flowers for her. Julia smiled fleetingly since the mother had already a premonition. Due to his upset mood his glance betrayed that the young man wanted to tell something else and she was waiting for a further explanation.

Dima illustrated with much gentleness his guess why Samir had so insisted that he should give her the flowers and he actually didn't want to give wrong hopes to the boy. This words caused almost an unbearable pain in her heart. Within seconds Julia had lost all strength and courage to deepen the topic. Her eyes were disbelief; at the same time she struggled with her tears.

When he looked into the sad eyes, Dima took her hand and stroked with his thumb over the back of the hand. He was also taken of the situation and it was hardly to endure the sight of her troubled face.

"You know your son. Much better than me. I just want you to explain him how the situation is between us. You know how difficult could be a solid relationship. I'm traveling so much and having a constantly busy schedule. At age five he just picture a family with father and mother. I would regret it if the little one will have too much hopes in me, in us -  and will have to live  awith disappointment at the end. You know I can't always be there for you."

Julia nodded understandingly and inhaled sharply through the nose to be able to suppress more tears. Even if she was afraid of the answer she wanted to know if there is any hope of a relationship. She paused for a moment as he trailed off and his eyes were straightened focused on his fingers which still caressed her hand back.

"I have never met a woman who is so attractive, humorous and yet so full of love like you. You have the ability to give me the strength which needed in my everyday life. You make me very happy, Jul. My last relationship has suffered so much under my profession that I just don't want to make the same mistake again. I've told you about it and If I would hurt you in the same way I could never forgive it."

"It's probably already too late for it ..." Julia interrupted with a slightly trembling voice.

Dima was thinking about her words. Finally he had to agree with a nod. His warm words were so touching and it clearly showed that he also felt more for her.
The more difficult was the understanding that Dima was so restrained and remained adamant when they were in public. Why couldn't he just give a chance to them? Because of this the pain increased and the constant desire for more was unbearable. Julia had countless of questions. Her heart literally fought with the mind.
Small tears ran down her cheek by the idea she can never touch this man like she wanted to; that she will never be able to feel him.  
For the first time Julia felt this unbearable fear of losing him. She hugged him wordlessly, pressed him tightly closer. Dima stroked soothingly her back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to end up the beautiful day like that, but ..." 

"It''s ok .." Julia interrupted sobbing and looked up at him.

"You're right. I'll talk to the children. They won't be disappoint in the end or mad at you, no matter what will happen between us. Promise ..." 

Even if he was really relieved that they have solved least this problem Dima was still touched  by the little sobbing woman in front of him; she was visibly upset by his comment. With his thumb he brushed the tears from her cheek and tried to cheer her up with a smile.

"Jul ... you're very fashion-conscious and you can combinate any type of clothing on your body, you can wear all colors. But tears, doesn't fit to you." 

She had to smile about this cute words and took a deep breath to calm down again.

"It's much better like this. Nothing happened. The only thing I wanted is that you search for a conversation with your children. Nothing will change. I'm really sorry that I'm so indecisive. I wish for myself nothing more that I could finally change my mind and immediately extinguish all fears and doubts. "

Julia nodded attentively and her counterpart silenced and took her wordlessly in his arms again. Since the day was incredibly beautiful she was reluctant to intensify the subject. He gently kissed her head.
The brunette looked up at him; washed the last tears from her face and a inhibited smile came across her lips.

"You should go now or you'll get sick," she whispered with broken voice and put the towel around his neck.

Dima nodded and gave a goodbye kiss on the young woman's forehead. When he left the apartment without saying a word, she closed the door. Her hand gliding slowly along the door. For one moment she paused and took a deep breath.
Two weeks will pass now until she will see Dima again. That's she started to understand his doubts in a relationship. Since she missed him already the singer had to distract from the pain of longing. By virtue of the upcoming timely busy schedule there seemed to be no problem to put her plan into action.





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